InsaneJournal

Current mood:

calm

It wasn't all that I thought it was going to be
So a couple of days ago I was on the phone with an ex from long past. (I broke up with him ten years ago because he got some chick pregnant...and the chick wasn't me.)

Anyhoo, when I let him go, I let him go. I didn't look back. I missed him...For God's sake I loved that man. But, I knew that he wasn't good for me and I had my future to think about.

So, during this rather odd conversation, he decides to confess his every sin. Towards the end of his cathartic monologue, he says that out of all the relationships that he's been in, he regretted how things ended with me the most. I was thrown to say the least. I had given up on him admitting that what he did to me was wrong. I had given up on him admitting that he made a mistake and that mistake haunted him. Yet, when he actually said it -- It didn't give me the vindication that I sought ten years ago. His words rang so hollow, like he was trying to clear his conscience. It was at that point that I realized that I really had nothing left for him. Any remnant of amorous emotion had long since disappeared. Now when I hear that voice that used to send chill down my spine, I yawn. He's clinging to the ghosts of the past. I've grown up. I've moved on. I have a beautiful daughter and a man that truly loves me. And that's worth more to me than any faded memory.